Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
