why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
