Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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