He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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