This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
