i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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