i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
