i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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