Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize