My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
