therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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