Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
