You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
