Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
