these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
