I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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