Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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