Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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