I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
