This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
