He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
