cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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