If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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