you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
