i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
