May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
