but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
