there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
