am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
