haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
