She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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