id be glad to
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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