just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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