I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
