Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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