So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
