they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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