She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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