Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
