rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
