Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
