He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
