Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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