Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
