i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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