Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize