i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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