What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
