...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
