why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
