I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
