3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
