I CAN MOONWALK!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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