Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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