I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
