left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
