her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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