put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
