Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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