you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
