Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
