Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
